What the hell is in my purse?

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I usually keep my shit together and simple, only packing the everyday essentials. Sometimes I need to transfer items from point a to b and will just throw it in my purse, which causes a big clutter when I forget to take them out. Here's the list:

1.) Wallet
2.) Charmin flushable wipes
3.) 3 wet naps from Wings 'N More
4.) Video camera
5.) Keys
6.) 6 toothpicks
7.) Makeup bag with 2 lip balms, 4 lip glosses, and 1 lipstick. (Nobody needs that much lip products in one bag!)
8.) Note about new work hours
9.) Coupon for free soup or salad from La Madeleine
10.) Mints
11.) Shutter Island movie stub
12.) 2 pens
13.) A lip brush
14.) A hair tie
15.) A ring
16.) A brush
17.) Colgate Wisps
18.) Hand sanitizer
19.) Hoop earrings
20.) Powder
21.) 24 Hour Fitness membership card

I could probably survive being trapped in the wilderness with all that mess. What's in yours right now? Man purses accepted.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Food Diary for the PT

I need to write down what I eat for the personal trainer that is going to be whipping me into shape. Since I really don't pay all that much attention to what I eat, I can only remember what I had as far back as Friday. So I'm going to start with that day and today. Sad memory.

Friday the 15.
    Breakfast: 1 sausage and egg taco with hot sauce, orange juice and a bottle of water.
    Lunch: small sides of mashed potatoes with brown gravy, macaroni and cheese.
    Dinner: Fuck, I can't remember.

Saturday the 16th.
    Breakfast: Skipped it.
    Lunch: a small chili from James Coney Island with cheese, crackers, and onions.
    Snack: 1 cinnamon toast bagel with raspberry cream cheese.
    Dinner: Haven't had it yet, probably wont eat anything healthy.

(As far as drinks go, I usually only drink water, tea, coke, and orange juice at work. Rarely drink alcohol.)

GOD DAMN where are the fruit and veggies?! This is depressing. There was a point in my life when I tried to pay attention to what I was putting in my system, but I started slacking.

A dear friend told me I don't need to lose weight, and that I'm hot the way I am now. Shut up you fool, it's not about losing weight or looking hot. Ok, it kind of is, but I don't have a problem in the "finding men" department, finding the right man is a totally different story that I'm not ready to get into. It's more about being the best I can be, even though I'm never going to be where I want to be, I can get as close as possible. I don't need six pack abs, but toning up my belly fat would be awesome! Oh, and I want to do something about these fucking chicken legs of mine.

The dream(?) that's too long to explain on Twitter. Plz halp.

Last night's sleep schedule started off weird to begin with. I fell asleep pretty early, around 9:30 or 10. I then woke up out of nowhere around midnight; which is strange because once I fall asleep I rarely wake back up unless I set an alarm. I stayed awake in bed for a couple of hours texting someone and eventually fell asleep. Later in the night, not sure what time, I woke up again, but I couldn't move. It felt like someone was behind me holding on to me. The grip felt tighter and I could hear a weird growling sound. I tried to move, but it was like I was frozen. It was fucking scary! Eventually I was able to move, but I was half asleep, so I started drifting off again. Once I started drifting off, I could feel that strange tightness again. The only explanation I have was that I was in between dreams. Anyone have any ideas? Am I being haunted by a demon that loves to cuddle the shit out of me?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

WHAT...THE...FUCK???

If anyone can help me decipher this series of text message this guy sent me that I met at a bar a few weeks ago, I would greatly appreciate it! I am typing it out verbatim, bad grammar and all.


"Our stop on the love train begains in h-town Dating seens dating an't want it use to be dinner and a movie take time how tweeter and txting tech. has made it easier meet people but it made it harder to know people and if u don't know someone kind hard know who's the one but want if you meet someone know they are good future four play 21 cent. were you can be invited to a spilt party instead of drinks break the ice master of dna. do all the work A new way look a your match. We can use our 5 sense sent light like touch or a verb. hung from a internet Verb. dating like sims u can go anywhere with a avatar Find your scientific match.com"


Why me?

A blog where I talk about things nobody gives a shit about

1. Water aerobics. Fun for the first 6 sessions, but gets kind of old after that. I think water aerobics is good for certain people: Old people who can't move around too much; morbidly obese people; and people who are already pretty fit, and just want something easy to do that will give them some resistance.

I need something that will kick my ass, so I'm going back to doing what I was doing before I got lazy during my summer break. If I'm not sweating and in pain after a workout, then what's the point?

2. Mouthwash. I bought some new mouthwash to try. Before I was using the alcohol free kind, but I don't think those work as well. Now I have one with 8% alcohol and it tastes like death. My teeth do feel cleaner and fresher after using it, so I will continue to suffer.

3. There is no three. I just made a blog about water aerobics and mouthwash. If you've read this far, then you have no life as well.

Bye!